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Ten questions and answers about BDSM events and parties

1. What are BDSM events?
   There are different BDSM events, each with their different characteristics.
   
   There are "munches" (see BDSM lingo), there are gatherings and there are parties.
   
   Gatherings are local community or support group BDSM events. They are of a smaller scale and more oriented towards socialising.
   
   Parties are of a bigger scale, usually commercial and organised by venues or specific organisations.
   
   Apart from "munches" almost every gathering or party has a "play facility" of some kind for active BDSM play.
   
   Most often there is a distinct barrier between the play area and the social area.
   
   Parties require dresscode, some gatherings do too, munches specifically do not. Besides munches people will usually dress for gatherings as well, either in outfits or in black.
   
   Finally there are conventions: multi-day large scale BDSM events, usually in hotels. These will incorporate workshops, lectures, demonstrations and usually expositions and vending areas.
   
   
2. What can I expect at BDSM events?
   All BDSM events have their specific character and dynamics. Parties are on a larger scale and quite often more a dance, fetish-fashion and show event and there often isn't much difference between a large BDSM party and a modern dance event. Gatherings are more socially oriented and safer, since there is more social control and the scale is smaller. Most are very women-friendly. A convention is a mix of a meeting place, exhibition and teaching. Most are annual or bi-annual events with different parties and play opportunities during the evenings. In various countries people also gather in private homes. These are usually the best places to go to, since they are quite safe, small scale, social and usually very well organised. Most people come to a gathering for social reasons, just to talk and meet likeminded peple over a glass of beer or wine. There will be some play going on, but nobody is required to enter into any activity.
   
   
3. What is a Dungeon Master?
   A Dungeon Master - the more modern name for it is Dungeon Monitor - is someone experienced who monitors what happens during active play at BDSM events. He or she (it can be a male or a female and a submissive as well as a dominant) specifically oversees safety and the fact that people are not drawn into anything against their will. They will also try to make sure BDSM events run smoothly. A DM is the law during BDSM events. DMs will also be more than willing to explain, answer questions or help you.
   
   
4. Are there any specific common party rules?
   To a certain extent there are and not all of them come in writing. It is widely considered inappropriate to get drunk, to approach people aggressively, to force yourself on people and to bring cameras or recording equipment to BDSM events. In general one should not smoke in the play area and due to safety requirements (glass or moist on the floor) bringing drinks to the play area is usually not allowed either.
   
   Other aspects, such as the acceptability of nudity, certain play forms (especially advanced play forms) and dresscodes differ from party to party. This is often the result of local legislation. When in doubt, ask the organiser or the DM.
   
   Bringing recreational drugs to BDSM-events is "not done" and may very well endanger the entire event and all people present.
   
   
5. Will I be allowed to watch people playing?
   In most cases the answer to this question is "yes" as long as you observe certain general rules. First of all, you do not join any active play, unless you are explicitely invited to. Secondly, you do not talk and certainly not comment. Also, you observe respectful physical distance and you do not walk in out of the play area all the time. In general, you should not interfere with the action, neither should you disturb it.
   
   
6. Are BDSM events expensive?
   Actually most people expect them to be expensive but the vast majority of BDSM events (except for large parties and conventions) are not. Most BDSM venues ask normal prices for drinks and especially local events usually have a low treshold policy, meaning that the entrance fee will not be excessively high. You may however be required to become a member of the local community first. This is usually not very expensive and a clever thing to do anyway. Besides, in many areas it is a legal requirement. Especially if it is your first visit, bring some sort of an ID.
   
   
7. How do I behave outside the venue?
   Most venues and organisers of BDSM events - and especially their neighbors - do not appreciate load noise in the middle of the night. Avoid enthousiastic bye byes, hooting and such. Also, not every venue appreciates (or allows) BDSM explicit outfits on the public road. Almost every venue has some sort of a dressroom where you can change into your outfit. Do not force your BDSM inclination on outsiders, so make sure there is no explicitly visible outfit on the public road and certainly no nudity. Bear in mind that in many areas - especially within the USA, Australia, Canada, many oriental countries and the UK - BDSM oriented venues balance on a tight legal rope. Your ignorant behavior may jeopardise the entire venue and as such may do a lot of damage to the entire local community.
   
   
8. What kind of people I meet at BDSM events?
   The vast majority of the BDSM crowd is formed by very friendly, open, usually creative and generally polite people. This may not always be the case in swingers clubs (who, for commercial reasons, expand their businesses into the BDSM realm) where you are likely to find more kickseekers. There will be a wide variety in age as well as social background. Very often there is a certain over-population of submissive men, although an increasing number of organisations has certain rules about singles and will limit their numbers. It is becoming a custom to organise special events targeted to young adults and couples as well as theme parties, targeted to specific BDSM niches, such as spanking or age role play.
   
   
9. What is a "Level Two" party?
   "Level Two" parties are BDSM events with very specific rules. All dominants on a "Level Two" party should be served by all submissives if they so wish. Also, dominants are to be addressed in a certain way (usually as Master or Mistress). While this may sound appealing, if you are a novice this is not something for the inexperienced. Situations may sometimes become tricky and much of the success of the event depends on the skills and social abilities of the DMs. Also, you may expect much more intens play on a "Level Two" party.
   
   
10. Should I bring anything?
    If you plan on active play, you should bring your own toys and gear and preferably your own partner to BDSM events. Do not expect a lot of people to be willing to enter into active play with others, they do not know. Also, again if you plan on active play, you should bring your own latex gloves and condoms (for the protection of toys). Quite often, such forms of hygiene are a requirement. Sexual intercourse is hardly ever (read actually almost never) allowed at BDSM events.