World of Bondage - Western style

Bondage model Eve Ellis (courtesy eveellis.com) >>>>>

There are, roughly, two main bondage styles in the world: Western (usually simply known as bondage) and Japanese (oriental or Shibari if you like). The main difference between the two is in the pretty straight forward restraining function, with a few erotic streaks, that usually characterizes Western bondage and the multi-goal, multi-layered, spiritual approach of Japanese bondage.

In fact, there are actually three main styles and it is is not as simple as the above definition may lead you to believe.

Next to western and oriental, quite a few dominants will tell you there is also something called "art bondage" (or "erotic bondage"). This refers to "their own style", usually indicating a bondage style that is predominantly centered around beauty and easthetics. And, it is also not entirely true that there are no, or very little, erotic and other elements to western style bondage. In fact, there are many and much of what is true for Japanese bondage is also true for western bondage. It just has never been approached that way. Shiatsu pressure points for example, when targeted with a western style bondage, will work in exactly the same way.

Bondage - regardless the style - has a huge appeal, even to many people outside the BDSM-community. This is largely the result of the fact that being helpless is sometimes also highly erotic and of course the fact that fantasies about rape and forced sex are the number one female sexual fantasy, while - even to most "vanilla" men - the element of being in control (and bondage visualizes that element in ways, no other technique does) is highly appealing as well as highly erotic.

Knowing your ropes, knots and safety is paramount, no matter what bondage variation you prefer. A considerable part of this section deals with exactly that.

fusion

Nothing is ever carved in stone and this as much true for bondage as it is for cooking. While there are differences between the western and oriental approach, as more information becomes available, more and more people find ways to intertwine both styles into their personal preference. And that is great.

This is also true for the definition of what bondage (or "ligotage" as the French fondly call it) exactly is. While the more classic approach is: restraining with ropes only, the more modern approach is restaining with whatever works well for you. I.e. people happily cross borders and mix leather restraints, chains and rope into an often beautiful mix that works for them. And since BDSM is all about what you want, that is exactly what you should do. Which is why, in this section, we will take that approach as well. While there is a lot of emphasys on rope (of course), you'll also find many different combinations, of styles as well as materials used.

Plus, there is a safety aspect. If erotic power exchange is new to you, there are a few things you may want to consider when it comes to restraining your partner.

As appealing as ropes may be - and yes, they usually are - as a novice your best bet is to buy a set of soft leather cuffs first and use these, at least for the time being. This will help your partner dramatically learning to cope with being restrained in a safe and easy to use way.

Ropes - especially when it comes to tieing hands and feet - can be difficult to use and may soon become a pain in the ass if you are less epxerienced. They come off, cut into the flesh and may block arteries. All these things can severly interfere with the fun of the scene and that is not what you want.

Bondage - like most other BDSM-techniques - requires training for both dominant and submissive and it simply takes a bit of time to master some of the basic technqiues. Until that time, it is simply easier and safer to resort to leather restraints instead. Simply because what you are looking for is fun, not the stress of a situation that looked very appealing when you started it, but turns into a disaster, simply because of lack of experience.

Again, if this is new to you, it may also be a good idea to start out with non-nude bondages, but use clothing (or "sweatlets", the type of wristbands tennisplayers use) as a protective layer between the ropes and the skin to prevent ropeburn and accidental bruises.

Pro Tip: Here is hint for a simple but extremely effective punishment bondage. All you need is a piece of chain and two padlocks. Lock one end around her ankle and the other end to a chair. You determine how long the chain will be, i.e. the living-space she is allowed to use. A simple evening watching television suddenly turns into an exciting game and the punishment is extremely useful for subs, that have tendency to test your (dominant) limits.

know your trade

There are literally hundreds of thousands of bondage pictures, dvd-s and videos around. And while these can be a fun source of inspiration they also have a negative effect. Since there are so many pictures around, many people think bondage is an easy thing to do. Fact of the matter is that it is not and that you need to take the time to learn techniques and understand them to be able to apply them succesfully. Succesful meaning that the two (or three or four) of you have a great scene, uninterrupted by technical difficulties and annoying things like limbs turning cold or nerve ends, being irritated.

Please bear in mind that a lot of what you see in porn magazines are actually trick shots. What looks like a suspension is often a situation where there are hidden supports, consealed harnasses, clever use of backgrounds and creative camera angles. Plus a lot of the bondage models are well-trained, since posing is their everyday job. Hence the risk of muscle injury to them is less likely than it is to those, entering into bondage for the first time or only once every so many months. Besides, the post for the shot only lasted a few minutes and it is hardly ever a moment from a full scene.

So, by all means be inspired and turned on by pictures, but don't let them fool you and keep your feet firmly on the ground.

Here is a set of very basic safety and sucess hints:

• Never try to use one long end of rope, but instead use different shorter pieces. This will enable you to plan and adjust your bondage, without getting entangled in yards and yards of rope. Plus, it is simply easier to make corrections.
  
  
• Learn and practise two or three knots that you will always use and that you can tie and untie with your eyes closed. That will improve the self-confidence of the dom as well as the sense of safety of the sub. Besides, it actually is a lot safer if, in case of an emergency, you know what knots you made so untieing them is easier.
  
  
• Bondage is highly erotic and very powerful. Often subs especially underestimate just how hard the sense of vulnerability, helplesness, exposure and defenselesness can kick in - even with something "simple" as just having your hands tied behind your back. So, go slow. Build up step by step instead of throwing one technique on another at high pace. Often having her sleep next to you with her tied hands stretched towards you on your pillow is a lot more erotic than trying to have her hang from the ceiling. The latter is okay too, of course, but only when appropriate and if you know what you are doing.

Hans Meijer