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About BDSM | Culture of power | Concepts | Sexually Transmitted Diseases or STD | BDSM lingo | BDSM Events & parties | BDSM Lifestyle | BDSM Safety | BDSM Attributes | Fetishism
Ten questions and answers about BDSM and fetishism
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What is fetishism?
A fetish is an attribute, fabric, bodypart or situation that turns you on sexually. This can be anything and fetishes are different for different people. It can be a scent (such as perfume), hair, an attribute, clothing (high heels for example) or the sight of a submissive on his or her knees. Latex and leather are probably the two most common fetishes in the BDSM world.
Although fetishism has somewhat of a negative connotation, fetishism is very normal and it is around all through everyday life. People who favor a specific brand (such as Nike) for clothing actually have a fetish. The entire fashion and cosmetics industry are largely based on fetishism.
- Where does the word fetishism come from?
Fetish (also spelled as fetisj or fetich) comes from the Portugese word "fettiço", which literally translates as "something made". The word fetishism was used in the Middle Ages throughout Europe for "magic charm", amulets brought by explorers from West-Africa, where they were known as "fettiche". In antropolical terms a fetish is a religious symbol. As such the Chirstian cross can also be seen as a fetish.
- Is fetishism a bad thing?
Thanks to Sigmund Freud (again) - who made the connection between sexual fetishes and "savages" - fetishism has been given a bad name for a long time, while in fact its origin is religious/spiritual symbolism. It is - however - quite normal and chances are literally everybody on the planet has at least one (sexual) fetish.
- Why is fetishism so important in BDSM?
BDSM people often have a different outlook on sexuality. Part of that is that they often have a sharp eye for detail and they will value such details highly. In that sense, for example, the scent of leather is a detail of leather clothing and gear. Attributes themselves are a detail of entire scenes. In this sense a fetish is a symbol for something much bigger - an entire spectre of feelings, emotions, memories and fantasies. BDSM and fetishism of go hand in hand.
- What are the most common BDSM fetishes?
Leather, lace, latex and high heels are probably the most common BDSM-related fetishes. Another common fetish are shaven bodyparts, such as the genital area. There is a wide variety of fetishes, connected to BDSM niches, such as ponytails, school uniforms and white socks in age play scenarios, gartherbelts in spanking scenarios and of course the rope in bondage scenarios.
- Are there any hard to spot fetishes?
The most difficult thing to explain is the fact that there are people, who have a dominant or submissive, or even entire BDSM fetish. These are people who are not really into BDSM, but fascinated and turned on by the atmosphere. Unfortunately - on the Internet especially - it is often hard to spot these fetishists. There is nothing wrong with having BDSM itself as a fetish. The problem however is that it is not really BDSM, as those into real life BDSM see it. People only chatting about BDSM and many, who are in "virtual relationships" actually often have a BDSM fetish.
- Can fetishism be dangerous?
Anything that becomes an obsession can be dangerous. Fetishism by nature at least has an inherent risk of becoming an obsession. The most common risk is that people with a fetish become fanatics about it. This - especially when BDSM or parts of it in itself are the fetish - may easily lead to disputes and a lot of flaming, because people can become very touchy about the subject. This frequently happens in Internet chatrooms and on discussion lists and often - unfortunately - clouds discussions and exchange of ideas and opinions. BDSM fetishism is quite common.
- Can fetishism contribute to my BDSM experience?
Fetishism - as explained - is largely symbolism and symbols play an important role in BDSM. Whips on the wall almost by definition create an atmosphere as well as certain expectations. In this sense such symbols can help you to enhance the experience, for starters by acknowledging them.
- Do different BDSM cultures have different popular fetishes?
One of the most obvious examples of how fetishes can be very popular in one BDSM culture while largely irrelevant in another is foot fetishism, which is widely spread in the heterosexual Femdom culture, while virtually non-existant in the heterosexual Maledom culture. The same true for specific power sensations, such as facesitting or trampling (standing on and walking over the submissive). These too are very specific Femdom related "things". Cockrings for example or largely a gay "thing" and hardly ever an item in other BDSM cultures. Other common forms of fetishism in a BDSM context are stockings, pony play and, although less common, diaper play.
- Can concepts be a fetish?
Actually, quite a few concepts are a fetish to many people. One of the most vibrant examples of this are the many individual rituals, most BDSM couples have. These are usually very small and simple things, such as a specific gesture, a specific position, having to ask for certain things, etctera. These rituals themselves are usually a turn on and as such a fetish.
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